Cara Bargiacchi is a political science and
conflict studies major from Memphis, Tennessee.
Flower-ins are a DePauw tradition, and there has been a lot of controversy about getting rid of them. For those who are unfamiliar with flower-ins, they are the ceremony in which the new member classes of any given fraternity and sorority are presented to one another. In my experience, the two houses sing their respective songs and then new members are presented one by one. Because of the singular nature of these presentations and, in some cases, the presence of alcohol, there is an extreme pressure on these new members to kiss each other. With the extensive list of schools that were published last spring that were being investigated for allegations of sexual assault, it came to light that flower-ins are most likely a Title IX violation.
Try to explain this activity to someone that does not go to DePauw. Explain to them that you stand in a room with around 150 of your peers and watch your new members make out with someone they may not have ever met before. I am fortunate enough to be in a sorority that has recognized the awkward situation that flower-ins put us in as new members and took action to change that. I only experienced one true flower-in, and let me tell you, it was a lot to take in.
At first I felt like I was missing something by not having flower-ins; however, looking back, I do not feel like I missed out on anything. We implemented a mixer system that employs the basic structure of flower-ins without the awkward Title IX violations. We still are able to sing our songs, and our new members are still able to mingle with the new members of each fraternity with whom we are paired. The key distinction is that the event is centered around a fun activity rather than a long succession of awkward make out sessions. I think the mixer system worked really well for Kappa Kappa Gamma and it can be easily adapted to the needs of other groups that choose to participate.
While I know that no one explicitly forces the new members to kiss, I have talked to many people about how pressured they felt during flower-ins to do so and how awkward it was when the guy leaned in for a kiss and they did not reciprocate. Not only does it put new members in an awkward position, but this could definitely be construed as a hazing activity.
While flower-ins have been a part of DePauw tradition long before we attended the school, I really believe that we will be better off without them. Grace Hopper once said, “The most dangerous phrase in the English language is 'we’ve always done it this way,' and I am glad that we are finally changing this dated and awkward tradition."