Everyone Stop What You’re Doing I Found a Better Way


Last week I was drinking diet coke and watching 90’s skateboarding videos when I noticed something absolutely insane. Their pants! The people skateboarding in the poor quality videos did not have their pants rolled.

Now, before you get too far ahead of yourself and start telling me how just a few weeks ago I swore all the cool kids rolled their pants, I never said their pants were not shorter than normal length. They were actually the perfect length! The exact same length that any persons’ pants would be if they were to roll them. How? They cut them. That’s right everyone! The days of rolling your pants are now over thanks to 90’s kids and the invention of scissors.

Let me explain what to do. As I said previously, the only way to wear pants is to cuff the bottoms of them. Give those pants one or two rolls and you are ready to go. Now, instead of rolling them, take a moment to lay them flat on a table and grab your nearest pair of scissors. Measure out the bottom of each leg to the desired length. Then, go ahead and chop the bottoms of them off. You will be astounded to find that when you put those pants back on, they will be at the perfect rolled length without you having to do any extra work.

Why would you cut and potentially ruin all of your pants? Well, when you actually cut your pants, you will probably find that it is really difficult to get a perfectly straight cut across the pant leg. In fact, it is almost impossible to achieve a cut that is not jagged or lopsided. That is perfect! It adds character to your once characterless pants, and after washing those bad boys a few times the bottoms will begin to fray. This adds an extra level of fashion to your wardrobe.

Also, think of all those wasted minutes you throw away every morning because you take the time to roll your pants. I for one started calculating the time it takes for me to get the perfect roll on my pants. It takes at least two minutes every morning. Ridiculous! If you were to just cut them all to the right length, you wouldn’t have to worry about petty morning routines any longer. Just slap those pants on and walk out the front door into the pouring Indiana rain without any worry of your cuffs getting soaked. It just makes perfect sense.

So, if you took my fashion advice from before and began rolling your pants, it only makes sense to go one step further and cut a couple inches off of them. You will be amazed at the results. I promise you won’t regret it.