When Student A finally received a bid for her favorite sorority, she expected the glamor of weekly parties, a tight-knit social group, and an immersive glimpse into American culture. Weeks later, she felt pressured to find her place with around 70 girls from her new house.
“I felt really scared because it was the first time … I had been in the [United States] and [learned] about the sororities,” she said. “I feel like every day was really overwhelming … I want to try really hard at the house, like express myself, my interest, and how I love the house.”
With 12% of DePauw’s Greek community consisting of international students, DePauw University allows students to develop social connections and find their second home in the U.S. through a three-day “rush week” to join on-campus sororities. This formal recruitment process requires potential new members (PNMs) to undergo three rounds of recruitment before receiving a formal bid from at least one of the seven Panhellenic Council chapters at DePauw. 34 international students joined Greek life in the Spring 2024 semester, while 43 new members joined during Spring 2023.
Yet adapting to sorority life after recruitment presents a series of cultural, social, and logistical adjustments for international students before finding their home in Greek life.
Unraveling Cultural Disparities in Greek Houses
After formally accepting her bid from her sorority, Student A felt compelled to join multiple social events to immerse herself in DePauw’s Greek life.
"I went to two to three parties every week ... like Wednesday, Friday, [and] Saturday," Student A said. "I feel like at that time it's really hard to balance academic and social life, because I want to have a lot of friends."
After long days of classes, Student A eventually preferred to eat alone instead of interacting with other sorority members over the meal table.
"[After] I have two to three classes, and then go to work, and then [have] a lot of homework to do, [I’d] go back home, and then I sit in a table with 10 [other] girls … [I’d feel] really tired and I don't want to talk," she said.
Meanwhile, Vy Nguyen ‘24, a member of Alpha Chi Omega, shared how she occasionally feels ashamed of expressing herself and her culture in common living spaces.
"Sometimes when you speak Vietnamese on the phone, you feel kind of weird because, you know, people are gonna hear you ... they're not gonna say anything but it just feels weird that you're speaking another language out loud in the common area," she said.
Nguyen observed other microaggressions such as emphasis on foreign accents and mistaking certain sorority members for students from a similar country. She said peers occasionally misunderstood international students’ words, leading to impatience and less investment in conversations.
She continued to elaborate on the experiences of an alumna of Alpha Chi Omega who felt uncomfortable playing Bollywood music while showering in common living spaces.
"She just feels like she doesn't have the space to do that because people are going to think people are going to be tweeted out about that," she added.
Nguyen shared an instance when a fellow sorority member lost important work authorization documents placed in Alpha Chi Omega's 500-mile closet. This space allows sorority members to store their belongings during move-out week if they live more than 500 miles from campus.
"The Vice President of Housing at that time ... texted [our online Slack channel] for people to come get their stuff, or else they'll be thrown out. [She] wanted to clean things out of the closet, and then [she accidentally] threw away the [paperwork]," Nguyen said. "It was just a miscommunication, but I guess that thing won't happen [to someone who] won't have to store their important paperwork here."
Demystifying the Recruitment Process
Student B, an anonymous Greek-affiliated sophomore, participated in the Continuous Open Bidding (COB) process after witnessing her friends' experiences during the rush process.
"I know a lot of people who went through recruitment [and ended] up doing COB because ... it's just very emotionally taxing for them."
The COB process provides an alternative method for students to join a sorority by being offered a bid that advocates for their acceptance into the house. This allows sorority houses to accept additional members who did not participate in formal recruitment.
"[The rush process] affects somebody's self-worth ... because a lot of people are like, 'oh, we would totally give you a bid.' And then they drop that person. And I understand from a sorority perspective that that might, you can't accept everybody you like and we understand that and some certain people meet that criteria and certain people don't," Student B said. "I just couldn't go through it."
Meanwhile, Student C, an anonymous sophomore, found it difficult to understand certain cultural references and jokes among members of her sorority. This also made it hard for her to express her emotions when her family was experiencing financial hardships back home.
"My personal life affected my experience of Greek life, because also my family was going through a lot of stuff and I was so stressed," she said. "I just really don't get [ what other sorority members] are talking about ... it's just so hard to have a deep conversation with people."
Student B further elaborated on her definition of sisterhood before entering Greek life.
"I think the way I interpreted the culture was that sorority sisterhood is genuinely about people being there for each other, right? … I guess what I want other people to know about me is what makes me [myself] and why certain things are important to me," she said. "Because I feel like it's important for you to actually reach out to people and people who are different than you and actually learn about them because that's how you grow as a person."
Fostering Diversity in Sisterhood
Zoe Zeng '25 joined Kappa Kappa Gamma to bring her own diversity and culture into a predominantly white Greek house.
"I still remember on the big day when we ran back to the house, a lot of people that I even I never met before, or [who] I probably only [knew through Instagram] can precisely pronounce my Chinese name," Zeng said. "So I was like, oh, this is the moment I feel like people care about you."
She elaborated on how integrating into American culture is a two-way street: international students have to step out of their comfort zones and interact with other members of the house to foster fun and meaningful conversations with domestic students.
"If you're just living in a house [and you're wondering,] 'how do I reach out to people? How do I survive in this new environment?' I feel like just go[ing] to dinner and lunch would be really, really good opportunities to talk to people," Zeng said. "This might take some effort ... but also it's a really, really nice way to check in with people and ask them how their day is going.
She also highlighted how she sets personal boundaries to maintain a healthy relationship with other sorority sisters while participating in Greek events.
“I guess it's more like having my own consciousness about it,” Zeng said. “Like knowing that ... this is something that I really like, I want to do it with them, or maybe this is something that I want to step away from."
Meanwhile, Frae Binder, director of Fraternity and Sorority Life, elaborated on the Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion (DEI) initiatives of the Panhellenic Council.
“We work closely as a staff to ensure all of our chapters have a student leader who oversees chapter DEI initiatives,” she said. “This semester, some sessions chapters have hosted are deconstructing Columbus, ethics regarding the World Cup in Qatar, and addressing microaggressions. Similarly, as the Panhellenic advisor I worked closely with that council’s leadership to select programming that we then trained their respective DEI officers to facilitate to their chapter.”
As a leader in Greek life, Binder strives to create a welcoming Greek community for international students to find their “home away from home at DePauw.” As she oversees almost 1,100 students in DePauw’s Fraternity and Sorority Life, she aims to “continually strive for inclusivity” through curriculum-centered solutions “around queer identities, gender expression, and holding intersectional identities.”
Olivia Cornejo ‘25, chapter president of Alpha Chi Omega, further highlighted how students' academics are still prioritized over social events, especially when sorority members are struggling with their workload.
"School should always be number one, that's why we're all here,” Cornejo said. “So we actually do have an academic status that we can put people on, so that makes any mandatory event optional for them.”
She also pointed out how Alpha Chi Omega leadership positions were already previously held by international students. Japanese students Akane Inoue '22 and Piano Endo ‘22 previously served as chapter president and vice president of new member education respectively. Cornejo also aims to diversify big-little pairings, where newly initiated members or “little sisters” are matched with existing members or “big sisters” who aid their transition into sorority life.
"Just because somebody is from maybe the same country doesn't mean that they should be big and little together ... they might have a lot of things in common, like they love sports and this person also loves sports," she said. "Just because they're not from the same place, doesn't mean they can't be mashed up."
To increase awareness of the recruitment process, Nguyen also suggested conducting workshops with International Student Affairs to help international students understand the rush process behind Greek life and important tips after joining the sorority.
"I feel like that's the part where not a lot of people talk about … like how do you deal with this situation when maybe this domestic student doesn't talk to you because they can't hear what you're saying or you have to play music in the bathroom?” Nguyen said.
“So I think trying to have those conversations like that would definitely not only increase the number of students in Greek life but also [make sure] that they have a good experience."