Like a lot of extremely dark and cynical people, I keep a list of things that truly irk me to my core. A few examples would be making hearts with your hands, exclamation points, the phrase "life's short," local news and TOMS. Ok, so maybe not everyone is as ridiculously sarcastic as I am, and my list is a bit unconventional. But something pretty high up on my list is Pinterest. Oh yes, Pinterest. The Promised Land and Mecca for a white girl demographic ages 16-44.
Now, my problem is not necessarily with the website itself. I have a Pinterest. I'm hip. I keep up with the times. What really busts my hump here is when people sit around and talk about things they saw on Pinterest.
Here's a thought; it can't be good if I, Maeve McDonough, a full-fledged Internet addict (you'll have to pry the laptop out of my cold, dead hands), hears the name of this website and begins to emit a sound similar to a dying horse.
"I was on Pinterest looking at wedding stuff, and I saw this super pinteresting picture where they had the flower girls carry..." This is the part where I tune you out. My eyes gloss over. I frantically look around the room for a way out. Can I fake an embolism? Maybe a seizure? No, my hair looks good today and convulsing will only shake the curl out. But it's too late. Its spoken name creates a chemical reaction that makes girls swoon. The rest of the lunch table has lunged at the topic of Pinterest like Nicki Minaj towards attention. The conversation is ruined.
Pinterest is nothing but a common criminal holding the conversation hostage with taco dip recipes and DIY sweater ideas. Once it has been mentioned, its force field (a collection of interior decorating articles and baby animal pictures), meant to block outside conversations, is far too strong to crack.
The conversation will be on this topic for a while. And if you're a guy who so happens to be in the wrong place at the wrong time, God bless your soul. Your worst nightmare is a reality unfolding in front of your eyes; a group of girls chatting and gabbing about hairstyle ideas and wedding planning. Where's the exit? There's only a fourth story window, you say? That will work just fine.
So, why do I hate talking about Pinterest so much? In all honesty, I don't know. I have no real idea. Maybe I'm not a fan of runaway conversations, but at the same time I could gush about One Direction and As Seen On TV products for hours. Maybe I don't like talking about the Internet...nah I'm just kidding. I love it. But if I had to guess, I think it's because Pinterest is too girly. Being on Pinterest is like being in the center of a football stadium surrounded by 20,000 loud, shrieking, gossiping, squealing girls. Does that sound like fun to you? Yeah, maybe if you're deaf. And probably blind.
Maybe if I were just a tad more sinister, I would add the names of everyone who brings up Pinterest in a conversation to my list of things that irk me to my core. But that's not normal, I already have a lot of things counting against me, and I have to draw the line somewhere. No matter what I have to say, Pinterest is here for the long haul, and people love Pinterest. To quote my roommate, Lucy Gough, "I love planning my wedding. I love looking at food. I love Pinterest so much I don't care about your opinion." Well, girlfriend, with Pinterest here to stay, you've been forewarned.
Got something that busts your hump? Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org or tweet me @MaeveMcDonough and let me know.
- McDonough is a sophomore from Glenn Ellyn, Ill., majoring in communication.