Party in the Back

1304

Even though I have written three opinion pieces thus far, it recently came to my attention that I have yet to share my voice in regards to any pertinent issues. That is why I would like to use this week's opinion piece to fish something near and dear to me out of my brain bucket. So many of DePauw's gentlemen conform to one or two so called “trendy” hairstyles. Could this conformity correlate to DePauw's diminishing status as a top party school?

Let me take a minute to discuss an artist by the name of Macklemore. Some have heard his songs, though you might not be able to name any, and many more people recognize him because of the hairdo he sports atop his scalp. Oh boy, that hairdo. You know the one with multiple inches of feathery or curly hair perched on the crown of the head. The hair on the crown connects via a fade or hard-part to the shaved sides and the shaved back of the head. No other haircut offers a wildly untamable bedhead quite like this Macklemore hairdo. And while you can save it with a glob of hair gel or cover it up with a hat, I have no doubt that by the year 2052, humans will look back on this atrocious hairstyle and think less of it than Johnny Bravo's quaffed hairdo. We all know how well it worked out for the Johnny Bravo hairdo fad.    

Another foreseeable fad on the fringe of burning out, if it hasn't already, is the man-bun. This style follows a similar trend to that of the Macklemore, but shaving the sides and back of the head are not necessary. The only requirement for the man-bun is to tie the hair into a tight bun that sits between the center and the back of the scalp. Now, I understand the utility of tying the hair up for a rip on a fixed-gear bicycle or a yoga session, but there is no need to wear a bun just to conform with the hipsters. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against wearing your long hair down - I live with hippies and might even be one myself.    

In the 1960s hippies were on the cutting edge of society and still today sit at the forefront. However, it was not until nearly a decade later, in the 70s, that the most versatile hairstyle in the universe appeared atop a man's head. Pioneered by music legends Paul McCartney and David Bowie, this hairstyle continues to transcend time. For McCartney, it was the "Wings of Pegasus." Bowie's mane was so unique that he had to take on a whole new identity, Ziggy Stardust, to properly rock the hairdo. The legendary hairdo is most well known as the mullet.     

The mullet is the epitome of work and play - business in the front and party in the back. Here at DePauw, many of us follow the saying work hard and play harder. And in my professional mullet bearing opinion, the mullet is the one answer to return DePauw to the top ten - no - the top spot of TFM and other legitimate party school ranking lists.