Up until Saturday night, the mistreatment of students of color that occurs on this campus was something that I either heard or read about. Others’ experiences have, without a doubt, added to my overall understanding of how disgusting the culture on this campus is, but nothing compares to experiencing this firsthand.
On Saturday night, at the Duck, I was pushed back and forth between two members of Alpha Phi, as they laughed and mocked me for their enjoyment. I attempted to defend myself against witnesses, alumni members of Alpha Phi and Phi Kappa Psi, who stated 'So what? You got pushed.' They laughed in my face when I argued whether this had to do with the fact that I am a women of color. But I was kicked out of the The Duck: I was the disturbance, not the alumni harassing me.
Whether the decision to pick on me was because of the color of my skin or their sense of Alpha Phi entitlement does not detract from the fact that I was assaulted—and I refuse to believe that it did not have anything to do with being a woman of color not associated with a Greek organization. The emphasis that DePauw puts on Greek life segregates this campus from the moment we step foot here our freshman year. As a woman, there is an immediate idea forced on us that we do not belong here unless we are white, thin, attractive and affiliated with a sorority.
Being a part of a house provides students with a sense of protection, which ingrains the belief that one can get away with anything if there is an entire house backing he or she up. The university proves this when members of Kappa Alpha Theta are getting away with appropriation, and I am sure we all know that the members of Alpha Phi will get away with this as well.
I acknowledge the terrible mistake I made my freshman year when I was given the choice between one DePauw versus the other. I blinded by the idea that the most important thing I could do at DePauw was to “fit in” or to share in an organization’s “status.” I have had time to reevaluate the person I conformed to, but I also have reconstructed myself into a better person. During this time, I have recognized an immensity of flaws within this institution. I am ashamed to attend a university that is more focused on its reputation than it is on actually addressing incidents regarding race and holding students accountable for their actions.
Pagan is a junior sociology major from Chicago, Illinois.