Met and married: Tigers that found love at DePauw

679

DePauw University has its fair share of alumni couples. The ones that immediately come to mind because of their multi-million dollar donations are Timothy and Sharon Ubben, '58, Dave and Suzanne Hoover, '67, Judson and Joyce Green, '74 and '75 respectively, and Ken and Carrie Coquillette, '82. But these are only a few.
When Mary Ann Meyer, '61, went on a blind date during Hell Week with Edward Meyer, '62, during her senior year at DePauw University, she never thought that he would turn out to be her husband.
'Hell Week' was the week before initiation at fraternities on campus.
"Edward was a Sigma Nu, and I was a Pi Phi," Mary Ann said. "Edward had 20 minutes to get a date, and I was home at the Pi Phi house. A couple of my roommates had a class with Edward and said 'Why don't you go out with him?'"
She did. They have now been married for 52 years and have five children.
While they both came from a suburb of Chicago, it was DePauw and a successful blind date that brought them together.
"It was a must for me," Edward said. "I had to get a date."
After graduation, Edward coached football and baseball at DePauw for 37 years.
"We're happy we met. We married a year later," Edward said. "So for me, I got a wife. I got a job. I had kids. Everything that I wanted came because of DePauw."
Maurie and Don Phelan, '79, met in a sociology class their junior year, but it wasn't until the beginning of the next academic year that they began dating, when both of them were on campus early. Don was a Resident Assistant in Mason Hall, and Maurie was on campus to help with recruitment, which in those days happened in the fall semester.
"We would sit around and talk and laugh and laugh and carry on," Don said.
As upperclassmen on campus during freshmen orientation with ample spare time, they would eat breakfast together in Rector Hall.
"And then, it would be lunch, and there we were still sitting in the dining hall," Maurie added.
After recruitment, Maurie moved back into her sorority house, Alpha Gamma Delta.
"After a week or two, I just decided I really needed to get back in touch with her," Don said.
The couple started dating after that and remained together despite the potential for them to go their separate ways after graduating.
They both lived in Indianapolis after graduation, but Don wanted to propose to her at DePauw. As a student trustee, he came back to campus the spring following graduation, and she came with him.
"I had said to her, 'Oh, before I go to my meeting let's take a little walk,'" Don said. "It was cold and blustery out," Don said. "She looked at me like I was crazy."
Maurie immediately added her perspective of the day.
"It was [crazy]. It was raining. It was cold," Maurie added. 'I mean, I was like, 'Take a walk? Seriously?'"
He proposed to her outside East College, and they got married six months later. They've been married for 33 years.
Stories like those of the Phelans and Meyers are not limited to the 1900s. According to sophomore Nicole Darnall, who completed a Media Fellows project on DePauw students marrying their classmates, one in every five DePauw Tigers will marry another Tiger.
Seniors Kaitlyn Frische and Kevin Ude, who recently became engaged, have known one another since elementary school.
"The first time I ever saw Kaitlyn," Ude said, "we were playing rec league soccer when we were like six."
But it wasn't until they were in fourth grade that they officially met.
Frische noted that an embarrassing story of them "dating" in the fourth grade is always told around Valentine's Day.
"We became boyfriend/girlfriend like the day before Valentine's Day in fourth grade," Frische said, "so I told him he had to get me a Valentine's Day present. He got me a present, like fourth graders do, so a thing of candy or a TY Beanie Baby or something like that, and I broke up with him the next day."
In March of their eighth grade year, the couple started dating again and have been together ever since. They are planning a wedding for August.
"People think that if you're in a serious relationship in college that you can't have the same experiences that single people do," Frische said. "I know there's a big hookup culture at DePauw and the parties and stuff, but honestly, I enjoy having a companion to go out with and hang out."
Frische said that people are sometimes shocked to find out that they have been together for almost eight years.
"I've found somebody that makes me happy," Frische said. "We're each other's best friends, and that's what's most important."
She equated making a romantic relationship last with making a friendship last.
"I mean, you put up with your best friends when they make you mad," she said. "Why wouldn't you put up with your boyfriend or girlfriend when they make you mad? You have lifelong friendships, and they've had their ups and downs as well."
Each couple had different answers to what makes a successful relationship. For Mary Ann and Edward Meyer, it's compromise and forgiveness.
"You have to love somebody, and you have to be willing to compromise and forgive and forget," Mary Ann said.
"You have to just get along and be able to share things," Edward said. "And don't take offense at every little thing that doesn't go your way because you're in it together."
For Frische and Ude, communication and experiencing new things together make a successful relationship.
"Don't stay mad for long. If you're mad, get over it; talk it out," Frische said.
Ude emphasized the importance of communication.
"You've got to be able to communicate problems and concerns," Ude added.
Frische offered advice on how to keep the relationship exciting.
"Since we've been dating eight years, it's easy to get bored with each other," Frische said, "or you know, you spend so much time with the same person, life can get a little repetitive and boring, so I think it's important for us to try new things together and have new experiences and stuff together."
For Maurie and Don Phelan, it's choosing the right companion and being able to laugh while facing adversity.
"You really have to enjoy having that person as a good companion," Maurie said.
Don felt not taking every moment seriously is the key to a successful marriage.
"Life is full of stress. Life is full of challenges," Don said. "Life is full of all kinds of things that are sometimes very unpleasant that pass your way. I think [people] just don't spend enough time laughing."
Mary Ann Meyer also believes that not having the option to quit has made the difference.
"We grew up in a time where you didn't throw away something," Mary Ann said. "You worked hard to put it back together."