I think we can all agree on one thing: RIP Hannah Montana and hello Queen of Twerk, Miley Cyrus.
It took Cyrus less time to get from "The Best of Both Worlds" to twerking porn star than it takes for Taylor Swift to lose a boyfriend. Cyrus, with her recent eye-opening and mouth-gaping performance at the MTV Video Music Awards and her new (terrible, but catchy) songs rising on the charts, has smashed the Disney icon she created.
Just when people thought she couldn't get any closer to falling off the cliff into complete destruction (think Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan), she released her newest music video for "Wrecking Ball." If your mind has not yet been violated by this video, then you need to add to the 120 million views the video has already accumulated on YouTube. The video begins with a close up of Cyrus, crying of course, singing about some depressing heartbreak she's experiencing (way to get out while you can, Liam).
At first, you can almost look past her teenaged-boy haircut and then you start to feel a little bit of sympathy for the poor delusional girl singing the heart-wrenching lyrics. For about 40 seconds you can sit back and think "Ahh, finally. She got off the crazy train and she's back."
But wait. Just like an as-seen-on-TV ad, there's more.
Once you see Cyrus in her crop top (or is it just a really long sports bra?), the high-waisted underwear, combat boots, prison-like tattoos and carrying a sledgehammer, you know everything's gonna hit the wall.
And it does. Literally.
Cyrus goes into psychopath mode, riding naked (well, she had boots on) on a huge wrecking ball, smashing walls, licking sledgehammers, and singing passionately about how she's heartbroken forever and ever.
Tough luck, Miley. Maybe you shouldn't have twerked all up on Robin Thicke at the VMA's.
The video, as crazy and repulsive as it is, has caught the attention of millions, including college students on the Grand Valley State University campus in Allendale, Mich. The campus of GVSU used to feature a giant pendulum, which coincidentally looked a lot like Cyrus' wrecking ball, hanging from a 15-foot steel cable. It was customary for students to swing on the ball without being caught, somewhat like a Boulder Run. Fun, harmless, laughable, and Vine-worthy.
Well, harmless until the influence of Cyrus got involved. After the obscene music video, students were inspired (by both Cyrus and...other means) to strip naked, climb onto the ball, and scream "Wrecking Ball" lyrics for likes on Vine. The college kids thought it was hysterical, but the administration, well, not so much. In response, they removed the pendulum for "safety reasons" and now #ReinstallTheBall is trending among the GVSU campus.
What can we learn from this, DePauw students? We don't exactly have a giant pendulum, but the Boulder is pretty close. So first of all, don't aspire to be Cyrus. Pictures of you in your birthday suit could end up in the news everywhere. Secondly, don't let the administration get ahold of those embarrassing pictures, Vines and videos of your past Boulder Runs. And for God's sake, don't sit on top of the Boulder naked and scream Wrecking Ball lyrics. Not only would I feel bad for the Boulder, but also I don't think anyone wants the Boulder removed from campus.
So DePauw, let's rise above the Miley influence, and let's not let "Wrecking Ball" wreck us.
- Hannel is a freshman from Hillsdale, Mich. whose major is undecided.