I have never had a real job. Unlike like my brother and friends, I never was a cashier at Target or a pizza chef at Papa Murphy's — I always babysat. During the summer, I repaired textbooks in my high school's bookstore and taught 10-year-olds how to play tennis at my high school's tennis camp. However, I was told the tennis camp has been bought out and now I don't have that job. So I have been looking for a summer job (but not a real one).
I have compiled a list of weird summer jobs that would no doubt give DePauw students plenty of hilarious stories to share with their friends after summer break.
Hold the Cash for Gold sign on the side of the street
I'm from the Lawrence part of Indianapolis, and in Castleton, we have a Cash for Gold. There is always someone on the side of the road holding up a sign pointing to the building. I have always thought this would be a great job — for a day. Put on your favorite song and some sunscreen, chug a bottle of water and dance the day away. If you are really concerned about people not knowing it is you, I'm sure you could find a gorilla mask. I don't know how much this job pays, but it seems pretty easy.
Be a Walmart greeter
Again, all you have to do is stand and be friendly, this time in the air conditioning. I couldn't help but notice that the majority of the people who hold this position are elderly, but a young college kid could do just as good of a job. Just think of all the people who go to Walmart...you would get to see all of them and say hello to them.
Work at a kiosk in the mall.
We all know the drill, there is that one guy selling lotion who insists that if you use his product you will never get a wrinkle, ever. He is so sure of this fact that he will follow you all the way down the aisle to try to convince you to just put a tab of it on your hand. DePauw students pride themselves on their work ethic and persistency, thus making us all great kiosk workers.
Be a mascot at a theme park
This would by far be the most fun. It would get hot underneath a heavy costume, but you would get to run around all day and act crazy. Plus people would be really excited to see you all the time, depending on what type of mascot you are. Down side: little children might cry in your presence.
Open a lemonade stand
If you find the right place to set up your budding business, your lemonade stand could be the talk of the town. The general public might be a little worried about taking lemonade from a college student instead of a small child, so maybe recruit some little cousins or neighbor kids. Give them each a dollar of the profits to avoid child labor laws or something.
So if you're desperately trying to stay away from holding down a real job like me, look into one of these ideas. I can't promise they will get you large sums of money, but you will come back with a few good stories to tell at the dinner table when your mom asks you what you did that day.
— Cangany is a freshman from Indianapolis, majoring in English writing.
opinion@thedepauw.com