DePauw's dating culture vs. hook-up experience
I am writing this piece in response to the editorial on Feb. 22, 2013 called "DePauw's Hook-up Culture." The article tries to open up the floor for a discussion of reasons why the hook-up culture is a norm at DePauw. What struck me is that this norm is more of a myth than of a norm to me. The hook-up culture has always been something that I've heard about, but rarely something that my immediate friends or acquaintances tell me about as their own experiences. Other DePauw students and I have very different relationship experiences than the one described in the editorial.
I see DePauw students that date, get engaged and marry after graduating from DePauw. I see students who date all four years here - first year, sophomore, junior or senior. I see students who are dating someone on campus and off-campus. I see greek and independent students that date. I see American and international students dating - within their nations or internationally.
I have been dating a man at DePauw for more than two years now. I want to point out what I see in my DePauw life because I don't see the "hook-up norm" described in the article. I worry that students at DePauw will assume that the hook-up culture is the only dating culture that exists at DePauw and assume that they have to participate in it. I am suggesting that random hook-ups are an experience that a DePauw student can have, but not a culture. Calling it a culture tricks people into thinking that it's a norm. But it is not a norm, nor is it a culture of all DePauw students.
Can you think of one friend in your DePauw circle who is dating someone right now? Can you think of two? Three? More? While I am writing this response, I can think of 40 friends and acquaintances of mine off the top of my head who study at DePauw and are dating now (for three or more months). There might be even more dating, I just may not be aware of it.
Excuse me for diverting from the main focus of the "DePauw's Hook-up Culture" editorial's question, but I feel obliged to talk about a variety of other dating experiences that I see as a part of the overall DePauw dating culture. And it's far from being just a hook-up culture. I am hoping that when people at DePauw talk about hook-ups, they talk about hook-ups not as a culture, but as only one of the experiences that students can have at DePauw within a variety of other dating and relationship experiences.
Oksana Polhuy
Class of 2014