It’s that time of year again folks— Valentine’s Day! To some, Valentine’s Day is a day dedicated to appreciation and love; to others, it’s an opportunity to get half-priced chocolate on Feb. 15 and for some it’s another excuse to push a capitalist agenda. Usually, I am not one to write about love or Valentine’s Day in any capacity, but I recently watched a stand-up on Netflix entitled “Jigsaw” by comedian Daniel Sloss, and it certainly changed my perspective on love, more specifically self-love.
When Sloss was 7 years old, he asked his father what the meaning of life was. His father created a relatable metaphor, saying life is like an individual jigsaw puzzle, but the catch is that everyone has lost the box and does not know what they are creating. Sloss believes that this particular piece of advice is, “... the reason I will die alone. Very happily, I may add.”
Sloss’s father went on to explain that people begin their puzzles with the four corners and edges. “Family. Friends. Hobbies/interests. Job.” Then in the center, there is the “partner piece.”
Society today often pressures us to find a partner, or else it tells us we are incomplete. There are countless examples of this: quizzes on social media asking if you and your crush have compatible star signs, romantic movies, celebrity relationship drama. The list goes on, and I could not disagree with it more.
The secret to feeling complete is finding what makes you happy, which does not necessarily have to be another human being. I agree with Sloss as he says happiness is the real center of the jigsaw. You should find that one thing (be it a person or not) that makes you feel pure happiness.
This is where self-love comes in. Sloss says, “If you only love yourself at 20 percent, that means somebody can come along and love you 30 percent. You're like, ‘Wow, that's so much.’ It's literally less than half.”
If you do not know how to love yourself at 100 percent, then you may often find yourself settling for someone who loves you less than you deserve, which is something Sloss also jokes about and has significant evidence to back it up. In a tweet from Sep. 14, 2018, Sloss writes, “#Jigsaw has now officially ended 3500 relationships, 4 cancelled engagements and caused 7 divorces. Keep spreading the love, guys. I appreciate it so much.” Sloss also attached screenshots to his tweet of those who reached out to him to say that his jokes were a catalyst for ending their relationships.
I would like to make clear that I am not agreeing with everything Sloss says or that love does not exist, but I think it is critical to center your life around what makes you happy, or gives you positive reinforcement of who you are as an individual.
For Sloss, it’s comedy, for some, it’s their partner and for others, they don’t know yet. “Make it [happiness] the center of your life. And then everything else will naturally fit in around it,” Sloss says. So this Valentine’s Day, go out there and find your happiness, whatever it may be.