My feelings about DePauw Dialogue are a mixed bag of emotions. On one hand, I understand where the University and the day’s organizers are coming from: trying to right a wrong is an admirable proposition, although it may be an unrealistic one.
On the other hand, I’m completely against the DePauw Dialogue. Just thinking about the format of the event makes me wonder if it does any good at all. We take an entire day away from classes, sit and talk about issues that are emotionally charged and divisive and single out groups of individuals that we deem in need of special attention. This is exactly what I don’t want. I’m not claiming to speak for the entire LGBTQ+ community, but understanding and living with the challenges faced by this community of people every day makes me reject the notion of DePauw Dialogue.
Growing up gay in Greencastle was hard. There were many days when I didn’t want to go to school because I didn’t want to be ridiculed by students in class. I didn’t want to be shoved into the lockers because I was a “sissy” or a “fag”. I avoided school functions so I didn’t have to deal with the whispers and the stares of students and their parents. I still live with some of these fears at DePauw. So, I understand the feelings of isolation and marginalization all too well.
Even so, I still don’t support the DePauw Dialogue because it perpetuates the feelings of “us against them”. DePauw as an institution has singled out a group of individuals and is making them deal with problems in a way it sees fit. DePauw is telling students that the only way to right these wrongs is to be shamed into attending an event that makes them feel as though they are helping, which harvests even more animosity.
By making this event optional, the school is creating an environment in which one segment of the population can call another unsympathetic to these issues, which is wrong. There are many kinds of activism--costly staged events that are overtly political are not the solution to the campus climate issues. Assuaging the consciences of the administration and appeasing a very outspoken portion of the university population is not a reason to do this.
I do not wish to shame people into feeling bad for me, or to make people agree with my lifestyle. I am a person, with feelings and emotions, that just wants to blend in and not be singled out. I’ve tried my whole life to just be another member of the larger community. I do not seek pity by having people denounce their “privilege” and understand my struggle in life. I’m not just one in a monolithic community with official lines of thought inherently ingrained in my mind because I happen to be homosexual. Having people take eight hours out of their day, for what equates to a pity party, is absurd. No one is going to understand my struggle but me.
Instead of creating a culture of victimization and blame, why not turn our attention outward? The national culture created the foundations of the very opinions that we seek to change, not DePauw. We must focus our attention to the world around our campus, and not rip the community we all cherish to shreds in the hopes of creating some grand utopia.