Stewart's perspective:
"Sir, you have been selected for additional screening."
Just past the metal detector, a Transportation Security Administration agent was leading Jimmy off to the side, separating him from his belongings and the group of travelers that he was with.
Multiple agents moved in on Jimmy while one swabbed his hands. And then the alarms went off.
"Don't touch that!" Jimmy said as he reached for his belongings. "You are not sterile!"
It was all quite amusing, and I hoped a hit YouTube video was in the making, until the men began furiously searching through all of his belongings and whispering to one another. Meticulously, they examined his books, page by page. Just as it seemed the ordeal was ending, a man slapped on a pair of green latex gloves and demanded Jimmy follow him behind the curtain.
Jimmy's perspective:
"You will be patted down by a male, with two males watching as witnesses," said the female TSA agent as her male counterpart called for backup.
"It really doesn't have to be," I said with a slight smirk of impatient humor. She was not amused.
These agents in Burlington, Vt. were not messing around, and were ready to take me down if needed. There was no sense of humanity, no friendly conversation and certainly no room to ask questions (i.e. what is it that you are looking for?). These people were possessed. As Sgt. Woodcock (real name) snapped his blue rubber gloves on, preparing to search, and the first-day-agent brought the "privacy" curtain to a close, I thought I said my last innocent goodbye to my travel comrades on the other side of the room.
Sgt. Woodcock briefed me on what was about to occur. He would "pat me down from the top of your head to the bottom of your toes," as he put it. Also, when he came to "sensitive areas," he would use the back of his hands to ensure I wasn't uncomfortable. Fair enough. In a lot of places, you'd pay good money for such a treatment. I had been to a professional sports game in the post 9/11 world; I could handle a few innocent pats, right?
Wrong. This was no pat down. This was a totally invasive, 3rd base, every-inch-dehumanizing-forced destruction of human rights. And by the way, he did not use the back of his hands for "sensitive areas." Take my word for it; this was not your ordinary Sunday morning church picnic pat down. After this five-minute experience was over, I waited, with my feet placed on two yellow dots, for them to go through every article of luggage I had. Luckily, to speed up the process, they attributed three agents to me alone. This left one person in charge of the x-ray, who joined me in watching person after person pass through with no "random additional screening."
I commend every TSA agent and all the people who make this country safe from harm, but do you think allocating 75 percent of available resources to one passenger is efficient? It is perhaps worth our time to rethink out perspective on airport security. It seems more efficient to screen many in some depth than one poor college student to the degree Sgt. Woodcock and his staff did.
— Burns is a sophomore from West Lafayette, Ind., majoring in political science. Kirkpatrick is a sophomore from Overland Park., Kan., majoring in political science. They are the hosts of "DePauwlitics," heard Tuesdays from 8-9 p.m. on WGRE.