Words from my father

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I would like to thank everyone who attended DePauw Dialogue.  

You challenged your cultural understandings and engaged in an alternate way of learning. I hope that each of you actually left the event with something more. While it may seem short sighted to understand how one day like this can influence people who are the target to social injustices day by day, your attendance proved that we, as DePauw, are willing to contribute to the work that will build a better tomorrow for everyone.

However, I can't stress enough - this is only the beginning. Attending this event for a few hours loses all of the event's intentions and merit if we don't continue having these discussions, asking questions, and being brutally honest to ourselves and one another. It's on us to use the momentum developed from DePauw Dialogue to not only be aware that there is a systemic problem, but also to be a piece of the solution.

Following DePauw Dialogue last week, I felt like many members of my fraternity were failing to expand or apply on what they learned when they returned to their comfortable living spaces.

I called some of my friends back home who know me inside and out. I discussed with them my uncertainties of being associated with a white fraternity house that doesn't share my zeal for fighting social injustices. They all told me if they were in my shoes, they would decommit, or even join an African-American house. Honestly, I was convinced and willing to give up the fight... until I talked to my father.

My father was born in Liberia in 1942 and studied at Missouri State University on a government scholarship. He experienced the race riots of the 60s and saw first hand what divisions between races can cause in the land of the free. During the Liberian civil war, he witnessed ultimate strife and saw first hand how harsh a society can become if all the constructs that work towards community are inept.

When speaking with my father, I spilled my frustrations with how we as a culture (not just members of my fraternity) are desensitized to social injustices. Watching the news and seeing a black person killed. Massacred. Whether or not with due or undue reasoning, our hearts may ache for the moment, but a week later we pretend like nothing happened.

We act as if time, by itself, will cure this systemic problem and stop it from occurring again. He listened to my frustrations, agreed with some of my qualms, but differed on my intentions to leave Phi Kappa Psi.

My father told me that if I want to carry the waves of my passion, I cannot give up on my fraternity at the onset of adversity. My father told me that I cannot be frustrated if I cannot influence a whole fraternity to adopt my view on progressive behaviors by attending one single event. My father told me that if I influence one mind, that one mind may inspire the next. He told me I have to continue sharing my thoughts with my brothers and others, staying attentive, and engaging with others within the afflicted communities.

Out of all his advice, what resonated with me the most , was my father telling me that I too must be willing to listen, be patient, and active in learning from you guys at the same token. He illustrated to me the dynamic that everyone needs to imbibe for us to progress as men, members of a fraternity, members of the DePauw community, and people of America. We have to (1) stay resilient in our pursuits, (2) be culturally aware, (3) effectively communicate, (4) effectively listen, and (5) be willing to learn from one another's experiences before we build a community, for everyone, together.

Neither I, my fraternity brothers, the cops, marginalized groups, nor others have the answers to solve social problems to an entirety within this age. Honestly, we may never be able to solve the problem. But, we are able to work with others within our DePauw community to model what it means to stand with one another in unity in times of grace distress and to stand for one another in unity in times of distress

How we behave, treat each other, and think can inspire the elements within our contemporary society that will build a brighter tomorrow. As arduous as the task is at hand, the battle is necessary. The battle must start.

It starts now.